Ages and Stages

1 Corinthians 13:11

New International Version (NIV)

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

When I was little, I had all sorts of expectations of where I would be at this point in my life. My friends and I would play pretend all the time, and we all just pretended that we were young people, never younger than fifteen and never older than twenty-five.  We always pretended to have big parties all the time and to live in exotic places. Whether it was Barbies or "house," all of our pretending was about the future, and we never had any rules.

Overall, I was pretty wrong about about my future and what "growing up" entails.  Mostly, that's because I didn't understand much of the real world when I was young; I thought like a child. The concepts of bills, the pain of heartbreak, and the reality of responsibilities never crossed my mind. To me, adults had no restrictions. They had it made.

Now that I have actual responsibilities, I feel like an actual adult now. Still, I sometimes have that same understanding of adulthood as I used to have, and I don't like to be restricted by age now that I'm an "adult". To my dismay, though, that's not how the world works.  My parents still give me rules (no tattoos or borrowing the car to drive across the country) and even if they didn't, the law still gives me rules (can't rent cars from most companies until I'm 25, no alcohol until I'm 21, etc.). Sometimes, I want to throw a fit about it. Too often, I tell my parents, "I need to be treated like an adult!"

How funny is that? I am supposedly "grown up" and yet I'm still thinking like a child, by glorifying the concept of being an adult.  I'm admitting to this because I know we all have experienced it at one time or another. As children, we don't want to be seen as babies; as teenagers, we don't like to be seen as children; as adults, we don't like to be seen as teenagers.

Listen to this quote from C.S. Lewis, though: “Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” 

 

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I have been acting like a child lately. Even the Bible tells me that I need to grow up (1 Corinthians 13:11).  The only comfort that I have is knowing that I'm not alone here; I'm sure many people my age face the same struggles with wanting to be accepted as an adult. 

 

Nonetheless, we need to learn to accept the positives and negatives that come with our age (restrictions and all), and embrace the stage we are in our lives right now, whether we are seniors in high school or senior citizens. Why get upset over the things we can't control?  Rather than focus on our expectations of our stage in life, we should learn to focus on trusting that God has it covered.  Live your life, love God, and everything else will fall into place.

 

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Peace

Philippians 4:7

English Standard Version (ESV)

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The other day, I had a conversation with a very talented and kind friend of mine who happens to be an atheist.  For the most part, our different beliefs don't get in the way of our friendship; she knows I'm Christian, I know she's not, and that's that.  During this past conversation, however, I found myself at a loss for words. 

My friend came to me looking to me for comfort, spilling all of her problems to me, because she knew she can trust me with them.  She explained to me how hopeless life feels to her and how she doesn't feel like a good person anymore. Of course, I don't believe life is hopeless, so I did point that out to her, but she didn't want to hear anything about that. "This has nothing to do with faith," she scolded me.  But darling, this has everything to do with faith.

Within all of us, I truly believe, there is a gaping hole, or an incompleteness, so to speak.  Some of us think that if we just find our soul-mate, then that hole will be filled. If we could just have that perfect family that we missed out on, then we'd be content. Get that promotion at work. Have a white picket fence. Maybe we think that a bottle of wine will do the trick, or just a couple more rounds of poker. None of these things, however can provide true, lasting happiness on their own -- not even your soul-mate. And why is that? Because this gaping hole you feel is from God.

The reason why people or things cannot fill this hole we feel is because that hole is a longing for a Savior, for a love greater than that of this world.  God creates this longing inside of us so that we will seek Him, and in turn, build a relationship with Him. Psalm 145:19 says that God fulfills the desires of those who fear Him. Ironic, right?  This God who is love and goodness created this horrible dissatisfaction for us because He loves us.  It's our reminder that we are made for something more than this.

When we look to God for fulfillment, we can receive it; however, people and things cannot sustain that kind of pressure. If you expect a friend or a lover make you happy, not only will you be disappointed, but that person will feel inadequate. The reason I found myself at a loss for words while talking to my friend is that she was complaining that she had no hope while rejecting the only hope I had to offer.  I cannot bring her peace. I can listen to her complain, but there's nothing else I, or anyone aside from God, can do for her.  C.S. Lewis once said, “God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.”  It's not fair to yourself (or to your loved ones) to expect them to bring you happiness, because it's setting everyone involved up for failure.

Now, what I'm not saying is that Jesus is the fix-all card that will make our lives easy. In fact, investing in a relationship with Christ can cause even more problems for us! (Luke 9:23 and Matthew 10:22 can back me up there.) The point isn't to have an easy life, though; the point is to have a complete life, with hope, love, peace, and a satisfaction that only God can provide.

Therefore, find your feeling of completeness by investing in a relationship with God, for the One who placed a longing for something more inside of your heart is the only One who can fulfill it.  Although He won't fix all of your problems, he will bring you the strength and peace necessary to cope with them. "May He grant you your hearts' desire and fulfill all your plans!" -- Psalm 20:4

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Respect

1 Timothy 5:2

New Life Version (NLV)

Talk to older women as mothers. Talk to younger women as sisters, keeping yourself pure.

Guys tweet about how nice some girl's body is. They don't know her, but it doesn't matter.  Tweet the words "yoga pants," and odds are that multiple guys will retweet you. Girls update their Facebook statuses with how good the book Fifty Shades of Grey is and how excited they are to see Magic Mike in theater because Channing Tatum will be half naked in the movie. When a sweet little girl goes out on a date, she picks the most low-cut blouse she has so that the guy will like her.  Sure that cute guy might a girlfriend, but he's flirting with you now. This is how the world works. It's just the way things are.

The problem with Christians, though, is that they weren't made for this world.  Philippians 3:20 states, "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ."  Therefore, we should not condemn ourselves to behave like we are created for something less than heaven. Even though the world accepts certain behaviors, we are still to reject them.

When it's put down in writing, it sounds obvious. Ladies shouldn't treat men like mere pieces of meat and vice versa. People should treat one another with respect as human beings and that's that. Nonetheless, this is one of those things that is much easier said than done. God wants us to go above and beyond the world's standard; he tells us to treat younger men and women as brothers and sisters, and to treat older men and woman as parents. Worded that way, it's actually pretty disgusting for us to hit on each other and check each other out; it's like making a move on your dad!

Until we are married, this is literally how we're expected to behave.  Most people may react to this by asking, "Does this mean we aren't supposed to date?" Personally, I wouldn't want to date my brother or sister, but I'll leave that up to you.  If you decide you want to date, I don't think that makes you a better or worse Christian than if you decide you don't. Nonetheless, we absolutely shouldn't talk about the opposite sex like simple objects, whether we date or not.  That aspect of the command is nonnegotiable.

Maybe you're reading this and not convinced. I mean, even though the Bible says these people are like our brothers and sisters, they aren't really related to us. In that case, look at it from this perspective: how would your future husband/wife feel if he/she heard you talking about the opposite sex the way you currently do now? Will she feel like she snagged a keeper, or will she be repulsed by how degrading you speak of women? Will he think it's adorable that you've kept your thoughts and speech pure for him, or will he be embarrassed for you?  Chances are, one day you may get married, and your future spouse won't appreciate you talking about his or her gender as if they aren't human.

C.S. Lewis once said, “You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”  The same goes for everyone. People aren't bodies; they are complex, multifaceted beings. When we behave like we are only interested in the physical aspect of the opposite sex, we are disrespecting them, ourselves, and God.  Purity is more than just holding on to technical virginity until marriage. Purity consists of treating one another as you would treat your family, waiting to be physical with someone until they become your husband or wife, and even then, respecting that person as a soul and not just a body.

I pray that you all have the courage and self-control to speak about one another with respect. Since we do not belong to this world, my hope is that you don't conform to it, but remain true to the standards God has for you.

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Service

Matthew 25:37-40

New International Version (NIV)

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

When was the last time you selflessly helped someone who you knew couldn't repay you?  As I was pondering this question this week, I realized it has been a long time for me. Not that I don't help my friends and family when they ask for favors, but lately, I haven't gone out of my way to help a stranger, and that's sad.

If you read Matthew 25:31-36, you will see Jesus talking about how the righteous will be separated from the unrighteous on the last judgement; the righteous will be eternally blessed and the unrighteous will be cursed.  One distinction he points out to his disciples between the two groups of people is that the righteous served one another. They fed the hungry, welcomed strangers, clothed the naked, and took care of the sick or in prison. God takes this personally. Jesus told his disciples that when they care for the least of his people, they are caring for him; however, when they neglect the least of these, they are neglecting Jesus himself.

Albert Barnes once noted three reasons why Jesus may have made a point to tell his disciples this story:

1. Because he wished to give pre-eminence to those virtues, to excite his followers to do them.
2. People should be punished for neglect as well as for positive sin. Sin is a violation of the law, or refusing to do what God commands.
3. Nothing better shows the true state of the heart than the proper performance of those duties, and the true character can be as well tested by neglecting them as by open crimes.

On one hand, being a "good person" by serving each other and refraining from sin cannot get you into heaven; we can only be saved by grace and not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9).  On the other hand, if we trust and love God and are truly his followers, we will want to do what's right to please Him. Remember that Christian hymn "They Will Know We are Christians by Our Love?"  True followers of Christ have His spirit; they can be recognized by how they serve each other, working and walking with one another out of love.

One thing we must understand, though, is that even if we do care for our neighbor and help one another, the reason for why we do these things matter.  When we serve, it should be out of love, because the holy spirit is moving us to do good things (whether we realize it or not). If we serve simply for our own image or reputation, or if we serve out of fear for what will happen if we don't, we aren't being sincere, and we aren't fooling God. Matthew 7:21-23 warns us about being a "false disciple," who does good things, but not for the sake of God.  Jesus said that when the day of judgement comes, they will not be recognized by God.

 Luckily for us, we have so many great reasons to do good for the world that selfish reasons aren't necessary. The only question left to ask ourselves is what good can we do?  What opportunities do we have to care for "the least of these?"  Aside from helping people in your everyday life, why not make a little extra effort to volunteer somewhere?  Most food pantries, homeless shelters, hospitals, children's organizations, and nursing homes have needs for volunteers and donations, so there are opportunities to help out in almost every community.  Ironically, when we go out of our way to help others, we are often the ones who benefits the most from it; the joy and humility that comes with service projects is an amazing reward for our efforts.

Therefore, let your compassion be a defining characteristic of who you are in Christ, and take advantage of opportunities that you have to do our Father's work with a spirit of love.

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Steadfast Faith

Job 1:21

New International Version (NIV)

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”

My past two entries have been about testimonies and joy.  Last Sunday, while visiting a new church, the pastor preached about a certain man's testimony. The man's name was Horatio Gates Spafford and his testimony reflects the power of trusting God at all times, and the satisfaction that comes with it. I feel like now would be an appropriate time to share it, considering our last two topics.

Spafford's story takes place a little over a hundred years ago, but it's still very relevant to us. For those who aren't sure who Spafford is, he is the man who wrote the hymn "It Is Well With My Soul."  I'm going to do my best in paraphrasing his story, but if you aren't satisfied with my summary, you are welcome to look up the name "Horatio Gates Spafford" and read his story for yourself.

For those who do not know much about the great Chicago fire of 1871, it killed 300 people and left 100,000 homeless. In this fire, Spafford lost most of his money for he had invested it into real estate that had been burned down. Around the same time as the fire, he lost his only son (he had one son and four daughters.)  Still, he remained faithful to God and tried to help the people of the city get back on their feet. 

About two years later, Spafford and his family decided to take a vacation to Europe. Being held up by some business, Spafford told his family to go on without him and he'd meet up with them when he can.  The ship his family was on never made it to Europe.  It collided with another ship and sank within 20 minutes. After the wreck, Spafford received a terrible telegram from his wife, only two words long: "saved alone."  His four daughters didn't survive the wreck. Spafford then took a ship to meet up with his grief-stricken wife. On his way, perhaps around the place where his daughters died, Spafford wrote the song "It Is Well With My Soul," saying quietly "the will of God be done."

A lot can be said about a man who can look in the face of heartbreak and hardships and say "it is well with my soul."  Think about the kind of faith it takes to accept tragedies to this extent!  In all honesty, there are days that I don't feel like giving God the praise he deserves; there are days that I'd rather wallow in my own self-pity than seek comfort and warmth in God.  In times like this, I am the only person getting in the way of my relationship with God.  On the other hand, when Spafford was facing situations much more difficult than I've ever had to face, he held onto his faith in God. Now, over a hundred years later, his story is still an encouragement to others.

My prayer for every single person who reads this is that you can have the faith of Horatio Gates Strafford, that no matter what sort of circumstances you come across, you can know that God is in control. I pray that nothing can ever take away the deep love, joy, and satisfaction that you have in the Lord.

Joy

Philippians 4:4

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Over time, I have come to realize that most people regard joy as a situational emotion that we long to experience in life. John Ortberg, the author of The Life You've Always Wanted, points out a fact that even I overlooked until hearing it from him. Joy isn't just a distant feeling that we strive for, it is a command from God. In Philippians 4:4, Paul  doesn't instruct us to "rejoice I guess if you feel like it some days." Instead, He tells us to rejoice in the Lord always, and in case we didn't catch it well enough the first time, Paul repeats the command to rejoice! Joy isn't a shallow feeling of happiness, but a deep satisfaction that Christians experience when they know God.

Because joy is demanded of us, we can be encouraged that it is not some far off emotion that we have no hopes of feeling.  Would God ask us to perform some sort of impossible task? When we trust that God loves us and cares about us, the answer to that question is clear.  If God tells us to do something, He will not only make sure we are capable of doing it, but He will actually help us to accomplish the task. Although being sad is absolutely appropriate at times, joy is a satisfaction that goes deeper than than sadness. People can feel sad about a situation or circumstance without losing the joy they have in their hearts for God.

So how exactly can we practice the discipline of joy? St Francis De Sales said, "The first way is to realize more vividly the omnipresence of God, in other words, the fact that God is everywhere and in everything, that nowhere and nothing in this world may he not be found. Just as the birds, wherever they fly, always encounter the air, so we, wherever we go or wherever we are, find God present. Everyone know this but few give it much thought."

Steve Evans, a noted Christian philosopher
, says that he is reminded of God's existence when he tastes banana cream pie. I know it sounds silly, but when we read the above quote by De Sales, it makes sense. If we look for God in everything, including banana cream pie, we learn more about Him, and thus have more reasons to rejoice in Him. God could very easily have given us food that always tastes bland and flavorless, but instead, he made the necessity of food an enjoyable one.  He gave us a variety of crazy good tastes to experience when we eat. If we think about it that way, then banana cream pie can absolutely bring us joy; it's a reminder of God's goodness!

When we are surrounded by a loving family and friends in a completely stress-free atmosphere, it is easy to remember how good God truly is; it is easy to feel joy and rejoice.  Unfortunately, life isn't always set up so nice and neatly for us. That's why joy is truly a discipline that takes practice rather than a pleasure that comes naturally.  One way I have chosen to practice joy is to write a list of things that truly make me happy, and then try to figure out what each item on the list tells us about God.  My list includes things such as apple cider in autumn, warm flannel blankets in winter, sleeping under the stars, and homemade chocolate chip cookies and milk.  From my list, I know that God loves to bring us warmth and comfort when we need it the most, he's so great that he can create universes far beyond our own, and that he can bring us joy by simply adding a bit of spice to our life (and to our drinks).

Therefore, let yourself enjoy all of God's creation, and in turn, the Creator himself.  Remember that joy is a command that God is more than eager to help us obey.  When you are down, that's okay; but don't let circumstantial unpleasantries take away the joy that knowing God brings you. We are to rejoice in the Lord always and are given so many reasons to, for our God is a loving God.

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Testimony

Timothy 1:8

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁸ So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News.

Yesterday, a person asked me for the first time in a long time if I would share my testimony with him. For me, hearing that question was almost strange, for I don't think it is asked very often, at least not at my church. Most people who were my youth group would probably say, "I don't have a testimony because I was raised Christian." Many people are under the impression that a testimony is a coming to Christ story, and if they don't remember when they became Christian, how can they have a testimony?

A testimony, however, is really just the story of how you got to the point where you are in your faith. I would go out on a limb and say just about every strong Christian has gone through some sort of hardship in his or her life. If God helped you through it, and you became a stronger person for it, I'd say that sounds like a great testimony. In 2 Timothy 1:8, Paul is clear that telling your testimony and telling others about our Lord isn't always easy, but it's important. Even when Paul is thrown into prison for his beliefs, he still won't be quiet about what Jesus has done in his life.  I'm not quite as brave as Paul, but I am going to put myself out there with this post and share my testimony to the best of my ability with you all.

First off, I was actually raised Christian. When my parents filed for divorce, though, my dad was pretty unstable. He wasn't dangerous or anything, but since my mom didn't want my sisters and I to see him like that, she sent us off to stay with my Sunday school teacher for a while. That summer, I grew really close to God. Since I basically lived with my Sunday school teacher, I had a lot of spiritual and emotional support. I was very young, but I became spiritually mature. I remember doing things like setting up a Vacation Bible School (VBS) at my house by myself (as a 5th grader) for all of the girls that I knew, just because I was passionate about that.

After the divorce, however, my pastor said some pretty offensive things to my mom about the whole situation, so we stopped going to church. For three years, I didn't have a church family. I ended up moving from Michigan to West Virginia for my mom's job, and I sort of hit rock bottom. I was two states away from all of my friends, I didn't really think about God much, and I wasn't getting along with my mom. I genuinely felt lonely. After a few months, though, we found a church.

That church really became a second home for me. I started going to the youth group, and I genuinely loved being involved in any way I could be. After a few years, my youth pastor recommended that I spend a summer working at the Christian camp that my church helps support. I did end up working at that camp, but afterward, I felt distracted from my relationship with God, and the only way I could think to fix that was to immerse myself completely into my faith.

Since that decision, I've started digging deeper, asking questions, and trying to discover for myself who God is. I went on my first mission trip last summer to a small village in Alaska, and I'd like to go on many more. I've also found that Christian concerts are so encouraging! (And fun!) I'm not a perfect Christian by any means, I make mistakes, and life still gets pretty rough sometimes, but I'm starting to see that passionate little 5th grade spirit (who put on a VBS at her home) come back to me. It's refreshing to see God working in my life through my weaknesses to fulfill his purposes. I look forward to see what all he has in store for me.

All testimonies are unique, but they all have a common denominator: they are encouraging messages of faith.  Personally, I would love to hear a testimony from each person who reads this, so if you are feeling brave, please please please feel free to leave your story in the comments section below, either signed or anonymous. However, if you aren't ready to post it for the world to see, I'd still like to hear your story. Feel free to email me at collegevespers@gmail.com with your testimony, and I'll keep it completely confidential.

God Bless

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