imperfect

Matthew 11:28-30

New International Version (NIV)

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Fun fact:
I actually didn't start writing this blog because I think that I'm holier than everyone else. In fact, I don't think I have any authority to tell others what they should think or believe. I probably cannot give any lessons that have not been given before, or share any insight that has not yet been shared. I'm sorry to disappoint anyone who is under the illusion that I'm perfect, but I'm not. Quite frankly, I started this blog for more of my benefit than that of anyone else.

Since moving to Ohio this past summer, I have struggled with finding a church home. Although I know that a person can agree with the theology of Christianity, regardless of whether or not that person attends church regularly, I felt that I could not personally better myself as a follower of Christ without having people to help me keep my focus on my relationship with God. Because I was not finding a church here in Ohio that could do that for me, I created a website. This way, I could be more intentional about spending time with God regularly, while also receiving input from those who decide to read my entries.

Unfortunately, however, I have lost sight of the reason why I wanted to start writing these entries in the first place. I've gone over two months without writing a single "vesper," because I haven't felt all that close to God lately. Sometimes, I think that Christians think that we have to be good people before we can spend time with God. It's as if we know that He deserves the best, and it would be unfair to Him if we went to Him as anything less than the best we can be. The trouble with that, however, is that we sometimes feel like we cannot talk to Him when we aren't our best, which is what I have been struggling with over the past two months.

This is not how God wants it to be. God doesn't just want us when we have our stuff together. He wants us when we are broken and doubtful and stubborn and sinful and crazy and angry and happy and sad. He wants us when we feel His presence; He wants us when we feel like He's a million miles away. We don't have to be perfect and pristine when we go to God. In fact, if we are waiting to go to God until after we feel perfect enough, we'll be waiting forever. Instead, God wants us to come to Him with all of our flaws and failures, so he can remove those burdens from our shoulders.

Every day, we face situations that are too hard to handle alone. We make mistakes that we cannot undo by ourselves. We face decisions that are too important to decide without help. Unless we bring all of that baggage with us when we go to Christ, we're going to grow weary. God wants more for us than that. Amazingly enough, this all-powerful, holy, righteous, beautiful being actually loves us more than we love ourselves. He wants to take our burdens from us and give us rest. He wants us to spend time with Him, even in the midst of our failures.

Although I have been avoiding God these past two months, ashamed of my flaws like Adam and Eve after eating the forbidden fruit, it's time for me to stop running. Instead of trying to hide my imperfections from Him, I'm going to bring them to Him and ask for His help. Tonight, I'd like to take a second and invite you all to do the same. Let's go to God with all of our fears and failures and let Him lighten our load. For He is gentle and humble in heart, and through Him, we will find rest for our souls.